First 5 Minutes at a Waterpark With Kids

Me, Daddy, Toddler and Baby went to Alton Towers at the weekend.  This was the first 5 minutes in the waterpark with two children under 4!

Me: Do not go anywhere without Mummy or Daddy ok?

Toddler: Ok Mummy.

Me (to Daddy): Right, shall we get them in the toddler pool it’ll be warm, I think?

Daddy: Yep, let’s go.

Me (to Daddy about Baby): Do you think he’s warm enough?

Daddy: Yes, he’s fine.

Me: But he looks a bit cold.

Daddy: But he feels warm, he’s fine.

Me: Where is she?

Daddy: She’s right there, I’m keeping an eye on her.

Me: I don’t like her going in on her own.

Daddy: She’s got armbands on, she’s fine.

Me: She’s going into the deep end.

Daddy: It’s the toddler pool, there’s no deep end.

Me: Do you think he’s (baby) too hot?

Daddy: No.

Me: But he looks hot, it’s really hot in here, he’s got a full body costume on, I should’ve got baby trunks.  Oh God, did you put his swimming nappy on?

Daddy: Yes.

Me: Are you sure?

Daddy: Yes.

Me: Where is she, I can’t see her – oh there she is.

Daddy: I’ll take her on a slide.

Me: Be careful, you’ll need go on with her and keep her legs in, and lift her up when you get to the bottom.  Are her arms bands tight enough?

Daddy: Yes.

Me: I think he’s getting cold… Where’s she gone now? Oh God, where is she?

Daddy: She’s right there playing with the buckets. 

Me: Do you think she’s warm enough?

Daddy: Yes.

Me: DON’T RUN!  IF YOU RUN YOU’LL SLIP AND HURT YOURSELF OKAY?

Toddler: OKAY!

Me: His skin is getting all wrinkly I think I’ll take him out for a bit.

Daddy: He’s fine, he’s only been in the water for 5 minutes.

Me: He’s cold, I’ll get him wrapped up in a towel.  Where is she? I can’t see her, oh there she is.

Daddy: I’m taking her on a slide.

Me: Ok, be careful.

 

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9 Reasons Why I’m a Terrible Mother

When it was just toddler and me, I happen to think I was a perfect mummy.  I did the parent/baby class, changed her nappy the recommended 10/12 time per day and was on top of everything 24hrs a day.

Along came baby and my inner perfectionist who lived for ‘cooled boiled water’ diminished into a puff of poo smelling smoke and a terrible mother reluctantly appeared….

Now, I’ve come to terms with the fact that it’s ok not to be perfect and this thing called common sense reared its beautiful head and I’m now at peace with fact I’m not an NHS acclaimed / health visitor approved Mummy!

Nappies – Call me controversial but I do not change my baby’s nappy the recommended 10/12 times per day. I find it makes their sensitive bums sore and copious amounts of sudocreme are needed. They’re bloody expensive and I want to see a nice yellow poop to get my monies worth before slap dashingly swapping it for another perfectly clean nappy. Plus it’s more environmentally friendly.

Attend a Baby Class – I’m all for exposing babies to environments to stimulate their senses, get used to being around ‘other babies’ and developing social skills.  However, my 4 month old baby really doesn’t want to be reminded each week of how he wasn’t breastfed for more than 4 weeks, or that his clothes don’t get ironed (see point below). In fact I think to continue to attend these sessions would give him a complex, and he would soon realise he has an imperfect mummy, so we politely decline.

Ironing – I don’t iron any clothes smaller thanDSC_0071 a pair of granny knickers – no I don’t iron my underwear either, but I also don’t iron my little boys clothes who is 4 months old – report me now.  I find a good fold and press suffices on a t shirt small enough to blow my nose on.

Bibs – Now this is a really awful admission but my perfect friesmallnd gave me 7 bibs all with the days of week embroidered beautifully on the front. I have been known to use a Wednesday on a Saturday and even a Tuesday on a Thursday – could I get any worse?

I pad – Shoot me now because yes I let my 3 yr old have her own ipad.  Most people assume she’s gaming or playing Candy Crush.  Sometimes she does, but mainly she’s playing Snap, learning how to match animal noises with the right animals or learning her ABC’s.  This generation of techy toddlers need to know how to use a phone, Ipad and PC because it’s a form of education just as an abacus was in my childhood. She doesn’t need glasses because of over exposure to the screen and has not yet developed any signs of becoming a recluse.

Breakfast in the Car- With a baby to get ready and a toddler who likes to dress herself, do her own hair, put on her own shoes and check all the lights are off before we set off for nursery I admit that she’s munched on a piece of toast and drank from a ‘sippy’ cup in the car.

Swear – I’m not a ‘swearer’ but I have been known to shout the odd expletive in front of my toddler when I’ve burned my finger, banged my little toe for the 100th time on the baby bouncer or shouted at the dog when he’s barking in the window just after I’ve got baby to sleep.  Once or twice my toddler has repeated said word and being the imperfect mum I am I had a little giggle inside but then never responded to it.  I find so many people make a big deal about it that toddler remembers said word and will continue to say it for comedic effect.  As yet, I’ve had no negative reports from nursey but admit this needs to stop the older she gets!

Lie About Stuff – So when my toddler asks me to take her to Unicorn Land or that her one wish is to ride a unicorn, I’m not yet ready to tell her they don’t exist.  I will search the internet until I find a horse prepared to wear a pink horn for a day, or use those words all imperfect mums have used ‘maybe’ or ‘we’ll see’, but I’m not ready to explain the non-existence of unicorns just yet. (I couldn’t believe this either, why can’t they just be real, are they extinct or did they never exist?)

I even told her that when she went for her pre-school injections they were injecting her with pink unicorn juice, which she accepted with no doubt.  It seemed to work and I’m quite sure she won’t hold it against me in years to come but who knows?

The 10th RSVP – There was one weekend when she had 3, yes 3 parties.  I honestly don’t mind spending £30 on 3 different sets of Shopkins for 3 different children, but on the only weeDSC_0072kend Daddy was off work I had to decline one.  She chose the two she wanted to go to, but oh my word the guilt!

Oh no wait, that ‘mummy guilt’ was left in the womb when my second child was born. I spent too long feeling guilty for practically everything that this time round things are different.  I need to prioritise time with each of my babies and if it means wearing the wrong bib, not attending the 10th party of the week, eating breakfast in the car or telling a few white lies then call me a terrible mother, because yes that’s what I am!

 

 

My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows

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ethannevelyn
Life Love and Dirty Dishes
Life, Love and Dirty Dishes
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3 Ways We Argue… in a ‘Kid Friendly’ Way!

We try not to argue in front of toddler and baby, but sometimes Mr Balderdash is excruciatingly annoying, and my tongue gets so sore from biting down on it all the time that I absolutely just have to vent!

I’ve realised this week when we managed to have the most patronising, high pitched, quiet, no swearing argument that we’ve got into a bit of a habit of trying so hard not to shout that we’ve developed ‘kid friendly’ tactics so as not to raise our voices in the house. It got me thinking is it just us or do other parents do similar things? Here are 3 tactics used this week:

Indirect Insult

What I say – “Daddy is being a silly Daddy today isn’t he? He’s not being a very good boy is he?”

What I actually mean – “Daddy, you are being an annoying tw$t and I want to punch you in the face

 

Using Pet Names in a Patronising Way

What I say – “Yes, Darling I know that is the direction the satnav is telling me go, but it just doesn’t feel like this is the right way, ok Sweetheart?”

What I actually mean – “Will you just shut the fu$% up? I know that bit$% on the machine is saying go left but I know it’s a right turn ok?”

 

The Blatant Lie

What I say – “Yes, I’m absolutely fine”

What I actually mean – “Are you an actual moron? I told you not to delete Bake Off as it was the only thing I’ve been looking forward to watching all week, but as long as you’ve got bloody X Files recorded then that’s just fine, forget it!” *heads for the wine*

It did get me thinking what does everyone else do?  I have friends who think nothing of having a ‘spat’ in front of the kids as they believe it teaches them how to reason, mediate and that it’s ok to disagree as long as you’re seen to ‘make up’.

Others just seem to never feel the need to argue, and the thought of raising their voices in front of the little ones is just not an option.

I like to think we’ve struck a ‘happy medium’ between the two.  I don’t think our kids should think we are perfect and that nothing annoys us and think that the world is always just hunky dorey.  They should see how to handle situations where we disagree, or just annoy each other for no specific reason, and that as long as we make up in front of them and daddy says “sorry” (!) then it’s ok so have ‘off’ days.

Do you have any techniques for this situation? Do you argue in front of the kids? What do you think is right or wrong?

 

Mummascribbles

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Toddler v’s Baby: Sibling Rivalry?

 

My eldest is 3 1/2yrs and my youngest is 3 1/2 mths.  Ever since I announced my pregnancy with my youngest (son) people kept saying :

  • Have you started to prepare for the jealousy from the oldest?
  • Have you explained how there’s going to be a new addition to the 20151107_113018 - Copyfamily that will be loved equally?
  • Why don’t you get a dolly for Toddler so that they get used to having a baby around the house?
We were of course aware that bringing back a day old baby into a house where my daughter has been the ‘star of the show’ for 3 years would be a change, I mean a really big change, but we were prepared!
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Even the nursery said she may ‘regress’ to being a baby because the attention is often taken away from the older sibling so we sort of came to expect it to happen.  My son is now 3 months old, and I can honestly say there’s been no dramatic regression, she’s not smothered him…yet, and she seems to…well…love him!
  • We’ve always encouraged her to help out by fetching nappies, reading stories and kissing him good night.
  • We never shout at her for giving a bit-too-20151214_122034tight-a-cuddle (which she does regularly!)
  • We always say she’s our big girl and is a great big sister.
  • We do make a greater fuss of her when she comes in from nursery.
  • We do try to have 1-on-1 time just me and her even if it’s just for 5 mins.
Too quickly we are told the toddlers nature is to be jealous and to cause havoc, but I think a lot of the time we impose it ourselves by expecting it to happen, because of what other people say.  Each family is different. I know they will have their arguments as they grow older, and I may well have a full basket of eggs on my face in a few months time –  but for now just call us the Waltons!
What are your experiences of introducing new siblings to the family?
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You Baby Me Mummy
Binky Linky
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French Side Braid for Toddler

DSC_0005My toddler has ringlets…the most frizzy, curly tight ringlets. We still have no idea where they came from! They are beautiful but can be difficult to manage. She can’t have a fringe as she would just have a forehead of frizz.

To keep it out of her eyes I have started braiding the top section on one side.

One tip for any plaits/ braids on children from me would be to only braid to the edge of the head.  Once you leave the head and start a ‘normal’ plait it will start to loosen at the sides so tie the bobble straight to the head leaving the rest of hair free as shown in the image below.

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A Summer Dress in Winter

My daughter is 3 years old and with nursery, living in the country and just generally  being a toddler, her clothes tend not to last very long!

I started to shop more affordably and all she seemed to live in was leggings and jeans.  She came home from nursery one day and said that her friend had worn a beautiful pink dress! I thought “are her parents mad?” and then  began to think why shouldn’t she wear pretty dresses at nursery and in Winter?  She’s only a little girl once, but I needed to make it cost effective and make the clothes last longer.

My first ‘must have’ items for girls in Winter are long sleeved t-shirts in a range of colours.  I purchase mine from George at Asda or Primarni. These are £3.50 for a pack of two!

Long Sleeved Tees

For my daughters 3rd birthday she had a Dinosaur themed party.  She desperately wanted a Dinosaur dress and the only decent one I could find was from Hunter and Fox Clothing on online shop Etsy.

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Now, I wouldn’t normally pay £22 for a dress for a 3 year old (not even for her birthday!) but I just couldn’t resist this one.  It is extremely well made and lined inside.

As her birthday is in September, it’s not long until the colder weather starts. I use the long sleeved t shirts underneath all of her dresses, with a pair of grey cotton tights and then finish with a cardigan if need be.  She wears this dress at least once a fortnight now!

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Being a Mum Has Made Me Thick!

My recent lack of drive, enthusiasm and passion for writing has sent me into a slight depression. It was literally the only thing I was good at before I became a Mum!  It was bad enough after my first born, but having just given birth for a second and final time…*ponders for a split second about having a third* NO! …the thinking part of my brain seems to have become detached from the rest of my body.  Just some examples of things that are now accepted as the norm in my life include:

  • Starting every sentence with erm, yeah, so, er, um…
  • Calling my daughter my son’s name, my husband my daughter’s name and my son the dog’s name…
  • Just accepting that sometimes I put the marmite on my toast before the butter
  • Being really good (and impressively quick) at getting everyone out of the house to nursery, going shopping, getting home and doing the ironing etc.
  • The reality to the above bullet point is that breakfast is served in the car (usually toast with marmite/butter) I ALWAYS lose my shopping list before ever getting to the supermarket, and I’d love to say I get the ironing done, but the truth is I’ve often forgot to even put a wash on.
  • I plan each day thinking I’ll get at least an hour to myself, and in those few and far between ‘hours’ I spend the time making a list of the things I should’ve done today but will have to now wait until tomorrow!
  • And repeat for the next 7 days.
mad mum
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